Ignorance is a bliss...
Therapy is gd le! Keke so many things i wana pour out,so many lines being crossed,failing all expectations.
Worst of all, i'm failing myself the most.
It's really easier said then done, to let go when everyday i've gota face her.
Shouldn't have such thoughts when everyone's turning up later this evening :-)
All of them whom are silently giving me support are turning up...
Really wish i could just pretend there's nothing wrong w me...
Pretending doesn't solve e issue at hand...
你不爱我 - 康康
Well I seldom post songs lor hehe but this is really nice la =)
So here goes the lyrics n the mp3 lor
No meaning hor! Just heard this off 933 lor n really nice la i love 康康's voice man both him n Jacky can sing la... Ermmm not alot of nice songs la ;p but this is one of those outstanding eh lor keke
Cheers & enjoy! hehe
康康-你不爱我
歌手:康康(康晋荣) 专辑:管你妈妈嫁给谁
制作:薛忠铭 歌手:康康
习惯被拒绝的人会先拒绝
这一次至少是我先说疲惫
有一些痛楚看不见泪水
有一种防卫叫做我无所谓
Repeat #
*要让你快乐也是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
留给我一些喜悦的岁月
却带走我一切
你不爱我是我舍不得
是我不配为你再狼狈
你不爱我你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我是我舍不得
是我不配和命运作对
你不爱我你真的不爱我
一直以为我是后卫
原来只是那后备....
康康-你不爱我 mp3 Valid for 7 days i think! haha
There's actually another song which is quite sad la heard it off 大哥大 lor it is called 妈妈请你也保重... Really got this song la! diaoz
It was sung by this guest star 龙哥 with 飞哥 eh ;p
Really looking forward to molo's outing la! keke
Got special guest star appearance somemore le!
Our UQ Jay Chou is gona be there ;-)
Just too bad he no bring guitar la...
Else can ask him to play it n sing some songs kekeke
Wicked rite? haha That's the real reason why I ask him to go la ;-)
Ouch~! She's Hot! Very hot !!! ~_~
It's been such a long time since I last saw this hot lady...
The last time I saw her was like the day before I left for BJ, on Shirlin n Xiang's wedding.
She's always so busy greeting all the guests whom arrived, always so vibrant n cheerful
We're always warmly greeted by her when we get to their place.
She's always a joy n wonder for us! Really! hehe
All the while she's being friendly n impersonal
Never really dont like anyone of us
Or particularly like anyone of us especially.
Today, It's different...
I'm like a stranger stepping into their house
Well It's been like 1 month plus since I was here
Alot of things have happened...
The group must have been Munchkin'ing for quite a while...
And I wasn't there...
It's surprisingly she still remembers me! Haha
Her greeting today is just as vibrant, cheerful, as usual...
Nothing spectacular, but I seem to hear a different tone from her voice
Hint of missing me perhaps? Sorry no gifts for this lady ;pShe's in her normal perky mood, running around, being noisy n nosey
Except she is sticking preeeetty close to me *sweat*
I bo chup her as usual lor ;pHey u guys remember I suck at handling ladies ok!Ask the ladies la, I really suck n duno how to appreciate them ok *ouch~!~!* kekeShe's really making me uncomfortable n really good at doing so too!
Coming at me fast n hard *scary le*
Getting so close n snuggly =__=
Playing with my fingers -__-"
Playing on my arm ~__~;
Getting all over me x__x
Sniffing me @__@
Diversion tactic doesn't work on her!
I told her, why dont u talk to the bat...
Doesnt like bat x_xWhy dont u get along n talk to Shirlin...
Shirlin went to take a snoozeWhy not find Xiang?
*piak He's too engrossed in Winning Eleven 5*Getting out of the her way doesn't work too
She's just waiting for me to come back and come stick to me again =~(
Tried telling her not to bother me n not to get so close to me, but she keeps doing so.
Think female stalker ok!Wa Piang... Chum liao la...
Where is the Dog when u needed him ?!?!
He's the lady killer ok! Not me~!~!
I'm about to be killed by this one hot lady ok x_x
*white foam coming out of my mouth liao ok!*神啊~! 救救我吧~!~!
Things got a
teeny bit hotter...
She proceed to play with my face
and with my ears
and at last with my lips
Chotto~!~!~! had to put a restraining order on her ok!
More R(A) scenes ahead x_x
In broad day light, right infront of the guys ?!?
OMG~!~! Come on man... If u wana play we can go somewhere private la ;p muahahahahaha Sorry guys, I aint that cheesy ok! lolI pushed her away...
Rejecting her advances time n again
*sweat le... really hard job ok!*There is no escape! Help~! I'm trapped~!~!
She did the ultimate anyone had done to me...
She started getting off on my hand!
Rubbing my hand against her privates (X_X);
Of coz i pushed her away la! Duh~!~!~!
I had to get Xiang's n Bat's attention to help out after that ok! *sweat*
She tried again... and again
*WUDI liao lor!*She's reallt hot n horny for sure ok! Diaoz...
Later when the delivery man came along, yeah~!~! Our Arnold's is here at last!
She went balistic and angry on the poor guy ok!
Xiang had to restrain her...
Poor ger, sorry I aint the one to help u out lor =) Go find the Dog! kekeke
Later on Xiang had to discipline her... Poor ger, cant stand Xiang being so rough with her...
During dinner she kept quiet throughout...
After dinner she sound quite apologetic for her behavior...
But abit later, she was sorely pissed at me for snubbing her advances x_x
In the end... It's a case of a very horny lady or a very horny n lonely lady...
Aint she cute? After snubbed by me n getting scolded by xiang, she's pretty hurt n choosed to stick close to Bat instead lor...
Her getting it on on my feet! This time round x_x
Batman to the rescue~!~! Look at the leg kicking her on her butt hehe
Eh dont report to SPCA hor! Wait no more Batman movies liao ok keke
Zodiac sign for the Virgo Man ;> keke
Well, nothing better to do then look thru zodiac signs n see if its really me anot le! hehe
It's like a mini-laughter just to see how accurate these things are ;>
To date i've only seen one which is quite accurate about me... hush...
So here goes...
VIRGO MAN
Time is precious for Virgo man and if you make him wait, he will consider that as an insult.
Got so bad meh? Hmmm used to alot of plane flying liao le ;p keke
He hates to hear criticism and hates to be criticize.
No la! Siaoz prefer ppl to tell me straight in the face than behind my back gossip lor
Sometimes no choice lor ppl discuss abt me n dont wana let me know, afriad of hurting me lor ~_~ hehe
If he is criticizing other people, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.
Last time I criticized someone ah.... hmmm quite long time back le hehe on top of Odean Katong... I still remember u know ;-)
He is and he likes to be a perfectionist.
Perfect about wat? *ROFL* Think i'm the one who has the worst standard in taste liao le ;p keke
Look at my love life... hahaha from bad to worse le!
He always think he is doing the right and appropriate thing , and often he thinks he makes no mistake.
Ok 1UP for this, most of the time I'm doing the wrong things at the wrong time! hehe
And it's mistake after mistake... Thinking I could right the wrong...
My whole life is a mistake! muahahaha ;p
He is a bright guy and could accept comments if he thinks it can improve himself.
Hmmm accepts comments? Yeap, but act on these comments ermmm trying to la
Kauz... new gay hairstyle, new clothes... uncles also need time to change eh mah ;p kekeke
He is the type who well adjusted to make changes.
Life is about changes, need to make changes to adapt to life... still trying to make changes, however subtle it maybe...
He will spent money carefully and spent it worthwhile.
Ermmm not exactly frugal la, but been spending alot recently, not very good n healthy on my wallet! haha
Thinking about a major purchase which i may still do on impulse...
He will only extravagant for his personnel pleasure only.
Haha sorry, recently I've yet to be spending much on myself, always on others. Making others happy =)
He is quite romantic, a type of guy who can drive 100 miles just to tell you how much he misses you.
No car le ;p Why drive when u can make a IDD call? or SMS better still? keke
If he does not care about you, he will not even spent a dime to call you locally.
Ermmm... MSN la! I where got so ngiao eh ;p least would SMS if i could le...
Except to my ex la! keke She's still very fierce towards me ~__~;
Long distant special low rate call is also out of the question.
No la! Recently had this long chat w this suku guy... cost me $61.58 ok! lol
Tia eh le! ps coz i had to leave before having a chance to really chat w him lor...
He hates rough and crude people.
Huh? Wrong again la! Kauz all my gang where got Nice guys eh! keke
Sorry man cant click with those goodie two shoes ppl! *hiakz*
So most prob the nice guys u see around me... Actually arent really tt nice la! hahaha
His woman has to be clean and dress well.
Not really le, but got this thing for ladies in power pants la ;p No way for ladies in flowery stuff lor @_@
Would always remember this zebra pants which my colleague wore once! Once is enough liao! Hahahaha
He inspects any thing in details beside being a perfectionist, so you could be lying in your bikini with a perfect figure and he can suddenly comments you about your big feet.
*blink blink* No la! Siaoz If i was to really comment on ur feet would mean I got nothing to comment liao
Only after I've praised all the gd points abt the shapely figure, firm tits n nice butt la *wink* haha DOM le~!~! kekeke
Nah think I'll first start with the hairs on ur butt... ;p kekeke XIU DO~!~! keke
If you gain 2 pounds , he may comments you are getting too fat.
No way man, 1kg is abit more than 2 pounds and I dont see a difference, so why worry? hehe
Before going out with this kind of guy, look at yourself head to toe in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really and entirely ready.
duh~!~! Who cares la! Only thing which would make me feel uncomfy is black-telephone wires drooping out.
Makes me really embaressed to point it out to the ger lor, wait ppl think I DOM beo ppl eh bra strap le x_x;
when in actual fact if the ger dont every few minute adjust the strap i wont be bothered about it at all! hehe
Unless he dates a model, then he will have less comments.
Models? Please I hate models le! Would be a hard time on myself to make sure she's really ok and comfy ya know!
He is neat and tidy, so his life always in a schedule, a fix time to lunch, the same time to go home.
>__< hehehe my life is in a shamble, it couldnt get any worse than this. Actual fact is always something crops up... at the last min
He is well knowledge about food and conscious about nutrition, so you won't see this guy eating a junk food, or strange and exotic food for sure.
=~~) U must be joking man! Fav joint is fast food outlets ;p exotic yeah... gota try it u know! hehe
Dont tell me about BBQ'ed starfish or scorpions on the stick ok! lol
You will see him in social events or party if only necessary.
Sort of lor... Dont really socialize alot la hehe cant drink, cant dance, dont smoke x_x die young from all the carbo! keke
He is gifted with acting, so if he says he can not go out with you because he is sick, then you will belief him.
This is pua my lobang le! keke kauz... Nah already got someone shot my plane down liao telling me I dont wana join them coz I didnt wana see her =___=;
He is a hard to please when it comes to what to eat, how to work, what kind of a woman to date.
Not really la! Hehe I'm quite easy going about food unless something comes into my mind la ;-)
Work? Can molo then do? hahaha
Just some woman whom I feel comfy with, not overpowering, confidence, be herself lor
He always neat and tidy all the times, even if he is in the army, he will be the cleanest soldier in the camp.
hehe no comments =x In my next life lor! keke I always clean up after someone... but not myself ;p muahahaha
He likes to speak properly with no slang.
Singlish not slang ah? keke Sorry my command of ang mor, hokkien, malayu n other language too poor liao ;p
He hates laziness and lazy people. He always act like a boring mature adults, but getting to know him , you will know he has his own charm.
I am lazy! I procastinate alot! hehe Is there anything wrong about tt?
Hmmmm dont think I could charm any lady out of her pants ;p
Ladies? hahaha *siamz the incoming debries*
He always see things clearly, so he is not the type to be blinded by love.
*blink blink* MAJOR WRONG! The standard answer is I've been tormented by my feelings really major during the weeks in BJ.
More appropriate answer, should be I was being very accomodating, but if it was anybody else, you'd have been pushing your luck.
Maybe I would try it again in the future ;-) Since I've learnt alot and know how to handle things differently, this time round...
He is a kind and cool guy, but if constantly irritate with rudeness, ignorant, or stupidity then he will show you that he is annoyed.
Yeap, if its realated to the above, I didnt show annoyance, instead I showed concern ~__~; Major weakness!
You may see a guy in this Zodiac dress up in an old shirt and old Jean, but if you look carefully, you will see that his hair is neat and unconsciously he will touch his hair a lot.
Have meh? =~~) Guys comments? Ladies comments? hehehe
His desk is always neat and if he sees small scrap paper on the floor, he will pick it up or put it in the basket.
I should take a pic of my desk! Muahahaha
People may think he is selfish, because when he says "No", he really means it.
?_? Reminds me of these words which someone told me ...
"Yes means yes, maybe means yes, no means maybe yes?" hahaha
Made me really laugh hehe I really duno hehe
Any favor asked , he will help but always in his own limit.
Usually yes, think "technical support" x_x always call me during weekends! !@#$%^&*() Or when I'm sleeping, in toilet pang sai or when i pah game no time ans x_x
The more he see faults in others, the less he wants people to see his.
Nah I dont really point out ppl's faults la like BO or fart quite normal lor, to flaw is to be human.
It's these mistakes which make ppl more loveable, like think how Jo came about to call Jon as Lau Ba etc lor
I dont really like ppl whom seem to be so flawless, perfect? Like models la, very fake! hehe Of coz they're hiding their normal selves from u lor.
Why hide? Nothing to hide when you're friends lor
If you want him to change his faults, try to tell him gently or he could take it as an insult.
Ok, I like this point lor I also like my bullets to be sugar coated la ;p
I may get the point, but It's really hard to change lor especially habits which die hard la, needs alot of time n effort eh ok! hehe
He wants love that comes with quality, so he only has a few loves in his life.
Bingo! But my QC these days really dropping alot la ;p I dont really have alot of lovers in my life and I dont intend to change that.
One is enough...
Woman's trick will not work with him. If he breaks up with a woman, he will also try to avoid all her friends and her environments too.
Hmmm wat's woman's tricks eh? apa?
Yeah, true enuff on the avoiding part. It would really hurt when u start thinking about the past... or when folks ask...
It's like the tone is changed, but ppl would keep remembering you n her being together in the past... kind of thing.
He is very picky and every breaking up, he will be double careful next time.
Gota learn, I dont breakup everyday! Neither do I go skirt chasing ;p Maximise what you've learnt in the past and dont repeat the same mistakes!
Growing is the key word, If you dont fall down you wont know how to climb up again.
He can sweep woman with his charm, but he likes to keep his relationship like a friend.
Can I sweep woman with my charms? lol Dont make me laugh la! lol To date no ger has found me to be charming le! Hehehe =~~)
A friend the lover
one to be wooed like a summer's dream
treated with respect like an elder
loved tenderly like a child in the mother's bossom
having her in first place like a champion's trophy
communicating like long-lost old friends meeting again
having the same thoughts and thinking on the same wave-length
understanding each other by simple geastures...
My love... My friend... hand in hand, forever
He likes a sincere self confident woman, neat and clean, perfect and tidy.
Thought all gers are like that eh le! Strating to think gers these days come from some die-cast factory where they mold them using this stamp kekeke
A real two "P" , picky and perfectionist Zodiac.
I'm not picky nor am i a perfectionist...
I'm really happy go lucky kind, except when tangled in the sticky web of love...
--
Siam liao la!
sixx, kook, mon, 小六, 老六, 小黑... wat else?
Be yourself, no matter what they say... Endless ♡ for the ☆
Hush my dearest princess...
Disclaimer : Original and copyrighted by me ok ;p keke such nice words from my foul mouth hor? hehe
Like finding ivory in the stupid dog's mouth le keke
Dont worry this was what i came up with quite a while back... wait i kena killed by feminists ~__~; hehe
Hush my dearest princess...
Let me have all the pain and sadness
there should not be any heartache or ill feelings on your part
the tears would only stain your beautiful face
I wish to be always there to wipe away any tears on your eyes
On your face it should always wear a smile
as pretty as the sunlight in the morning spring
where the roses bloom and the birds sing
a joyous song of winter gone and a new world awaits.
That is the most fitting picture of you in my heart.
I'll use my love for you to overcome my sadness
Leave your winter darkness and sadness with me...
I would always be loving you...
Be it summer gone or authumn comes
I really wish
I could only wish
For the impossible
A fool's wish
which would never come...
--
Siam liao la!
sixx, kook, mon, 小六, 老六, 小黑... wat else?
Be yourself, no matter what they say... Endless ♡ for the ☆
Guys night out... AKA keep the hens at home ;p
Nasty title eh ;> Hahaha everyone would think a guy's night out would mean babe watching or out getting wasted at some water hole ;p
Its been a really long time since I was out with just the guys... No gers =) really sweet.
Anything goes, no barrier! kekeke
But venue had to be somewhere near Geylang! Hahaha
It immediately raised some eye brows ~_~ especially with the woman folk la hehe Wonder which unfortunate guy went back kena grilled ah? kekeke
Stunning sial, when the guys picked me up.
I kena screwed for having rebonded hair la! kekeke Everyone's used to seeing my messy hair n such...
They've been seeing me in tt hairstyle for like years already! hahaha
We had a quite dinner at some steamboat joint near the Kallang MRT la
Sianz man had to be some China type of steamboat! *Abish* 1 solid mth of China liao come back still eat Chong Qing Huo Guo?!?!
Nvm la anything man =D hehe Its the company that counts! Yeah!
Just too bad our gd old Ah Lau isnt able to make it, as he's flying off today @_@
Gd luck on ur trip! hehe give me a FR on the food n the scene there ok ;> hehe
Food is ermmm =____________=
FR from the patrons there told us the eggs are rotten! hahaha
Surprisingly this time round chat was about HDB n loans man x_x
OMG! These guys are already talking abt settling down n getting married next year liao...
*siamz ah* Word on the street is like there would be 3 red bombs next year x_x
Dont ask me who i also duno... More interested in the food, the HDB n the loan part
I better make plans to be out of town then ;p
Heard one got a executive condo, two of which are getting 5 rooms in SK
Forgot the weak one who's gona get a 5 roomer n stay w the parants ;p hahaha
Me? Of coz i got plans la ;p but not feasible as I dont have a partner to share it with, so I'll stick with $ rolling plan hehe
Looking back, the last gathering was like 2 mths back at my b'day... Oh man the topics sure change alot when there's no ladies around! Hahaha
Of coz i kena screwd for not having any FR on the Liu Yings in BJ la! Note to myself, never go on business trips with those married freaks no more x_x No freedom to roam.
Myself i really wanted to try out the massage la, everyday at BJ back is aching like hell, had to stay up late n wake up early...
After all that chatter, the feast we had and the terrible smells we had to suffer
We decided to shift bases...
Next stop!
Yong He Dou Jiang~!~! *OMG~! OMG~! OMG~! OMG~! *
=___________________________________=
These guys sure know how to torture me man!
It's really pretty pack the place, we just had the cold sweeten soy milk =D
This tastes normal to me ok! hahaha Aint that sweet and goes down very well =) really heaven man hehe
The You Tiao is just a tad smaller than back in BJ
This time wise chat is abit about my trip to BJ n wats my plans for the future...
Everyone's interested in how's my take after this BJ trip, myself i wont know whats the future gona be like
"Surreal - Ayumi Hamasaki"
When i'm down, somehow "D-techolife" gives me the edge and the optimissm to look up n forward
Everything in my playlist is love n sadness ;p kekeke
Even the new FIR song is also lukewarm to my heart
"来到我身边 - Korean song from Paris Lover?"
One last burst of freedom before the weekend starts...
Come sat n these guys would be hand-cuffed up to become the nice little perfect men ;p
PS : To the rest, go ahead n do what you want. I know alot of u have been restraining yourselves for my sake
No need liao la hehe dont need to give me face ;p
--
Siam liao la!
sixx, kook, mon, 小六, 老六, 小黑... wat else?
Be yourself, no matter what they say... Endless ♡ for the ☆
More Figurines ;p
Well got this on the day I got back ~_~ hehe... I think ;p
Is it the day i got back? Hmmmm think so la ;p
Nice right? Asuka n Rei from Eva
Saw these beauties way back on watch.impress, but didnt think I could get my hands on these, till that faithful day.
They aint really that expensive la abt $70 for the pair lor ^_^
Got these beauts at Hobby Point suntec, the branch at CS sucks!
Bought over 200+ and wont even give me abit of discount!
Or least something to make the customer happy la!
K k... Least I'm spending on something to make myself happy! hehe
rather than getting tt stuff for her la ;pNext up? Bat jio go Beijing le! haha surprising ok! hehe
He knows I need a break, somehow after coming back from Beijing life got abit too slow for me.
Feeling time trickling slowly... Everyday... Every moment
Tried to learn, tried to find... To reach out for eternity...
Where's the answer?... Is this forever?Lucky thing sis is in camp ;-) else she's gona kill me when she gets out! Hahaha
Gota hide somewhere!
Eureka~!~! I'll bring along the sacrificial dog the next time round to appease the gods ;-) hiak hiak
No more? No more?
Sad le... Was thinking this afternoon why my fav blog site poisonouslady so long never update liao
Who knows at night she post that she would be closing her blog -_____-"
Wah Piang! Sianz 3/4 liao la... No more jokes, no more crazy stuff to make my day...
At this time in which i was hoping for more support from ppl around me *sigh*
Gota be strong...
Gota organize next mon outing @_@
Gota find peeps go watch potter @ omnimax
Seems like alot of things is not going my way
BJ is a bitter-sweet memory which changes alot of things in my life
I'm still fearing the changes, I still duno what would happen
But I've gota be stable, there's not many ppl left by my side
Everybody is dissapointing me just when I need them most...
Cut the lamenting...
Just hope poi's happy with her new life w/o her blog, her dairy
Really wish all the best for whatever she's doing in the future =)
Back to square one
Yeap, back home liao lor =) hehe
"
Private Emotion"
I've been running away from the truth, thought this trip would help me settle somethings, both in my mind n in my heart.
Was hoping to quench this fire in my heart, but instead it added fuel to it ~_~ hahaha
Pathetic dude! You are pathertic!
"
You and Me"
Well back home liao gota face up to the
shi@tz back home ;p the life that i left standing still for the past 1 month
The friends to meet, the things i've been holding off to...
It's been a really long year, since the day i meet her, things have been standing still.
But I've gota move it ;-) The world still goes round n round, time still flows.
"
Say you love me"
I'm moving not cause I've given up on my feelings, but there's alot of things which
needs my attention too.
@k_his_x had a nice long chat with me, style...
@sinpen, very nice sugar-coated bullet...
@gege, no i duno how to ans u this time lor. It
definately wont be wasted really!
@yy, thanks for the kind n supporting words, long time since we chatted! hehe
@southpark, thanks for the great advice...
"
The crying game"
and everyone else whom have chatted n SMS me to support me lor =) including her
"
If you get there before I do"
I really suck at face-to-face chattings eh? Really bad at expressions so alot of stuff I do rather than say.Everything is an excuse, everyone just wans me to forget her n to move on. Thanks ppl, I would move on, the feeling is hard to rid of"
原来我love you so much"
Dont worry, there's quite a bit of goodies to go around la ;p especially the smokers lor! hahaha
Some pics for all to see lor hehe the rest is on her camera n my boss eh cam ~_~ keke
Home sweet home, for the past month... Lived, slept, worked, loved, cried & got hurt all in here! Hahaha
You guys wont believe this is a rose ok! haha fully bloomed eh rose le!
There's a nicer one in the shade i love, but i didnt take, maybe she'll take tt pic...
First meal, the portion is enormous! These are the left overs! Hahahaha
Does this look familiar? ;-) kekeke Looks abit like AB rite guys? hahaha
Our first fish head! That is a full sized WOK ok! It's really that huge!
Smokers... Your gifts! kekeke I think u guys know which is for who liao la ;-) keke
Green chicks rule, the guy is bowing to his chick.
Yellow chicks rule, the guy's on a dog leash to his chick.
The simple truth, guys love with their dicks, girls with their heart.
Dangerous gases, no explaination needed ;-)
Band of brothers, sorry this is for an old friend of mine =) hahaha
@her there's alot of things for me to say, but i cant say it. I'm restrained because, I'm afraid of getting hurt, again.
"
可惜不是你/Pity that it was not you"
Nice song u sang to me on the last walk, I duno is that a hint or wat to make of it.
So I'll just let it go... Just like the pillow whack from u
There's always two sides of the coin... Sorry for all the mistakes I've done or did to hurt u
"
Say you love me"
No quotes, just alot of sweet n painful memories...
"
D-Technolife"
Gota move... Gota move...
"不怕不怕"OMG! Numa numa in chinese ?!?!?! MUAHAHAHAHA this is nice hehehe
Closing the final chapter Oinky...
I should have done this a long time back when it was so much easier...
It wouldn't have been so hurtful to myself, it's really not worth the effort
These are my bitter sweet feelings and nothing more than that
There wont be no quotes from her or anyone else for that matters
The last few weeks is really testing and tiring, going from being wonderful moments to horrid in the blink
Both of us had a part to play in swinging this pendulum, everyday
I've gotten used to it and coming to terms with her normal behavior, I have to adapt soon
It's just too bad my boss had to be the joker with the ugly mask, really fugly
Yup, he turned up and she turned into workhorse mode, totally ignoring me, chill very gd
There is no avenue to communicate no more, for the past week
I kept totally to myself, not opening abit
Purely sarcastic, she's not the only one who dares to screw the boss
Except mine is different, dont like it fire me dude, I rather be on the next plane back home hehe
I'm joining the renegades ;-) wicked
This went on till these few days, where I've gota make the decision, to stay or go
I was seriously contemplating on the effects of staying behind and roaming around alone in Beijing
I dont need no company, I already know where to go thanks to those online freaks who visits the "hair saloons" ;p
It is abit too late for me to make plans to either go GuanXi or SuZhou to visit my other friends
Partly I also dont wana see the bf as things might get a bit sticky, he doesnt need to know that I'm so crazy about her.
Things was going well and I was thinking hell might as well enjoy abit of the local stuff
Till I had to go bang my head on the wall last night
In a war there is no win-win situation, there's always bound to be a loser
The real winner is the one whom doesnt goes to war
The other winner is the one whom knows when to cut loses...
It's really getting pointless of me talking to her no more, there's really nothing for us to talk about
Talking to her was secondary, the act of taking back my passport would mean something
She knows me too much and simply too dangerous to be by my side no more...
I wont get emotional, I will survive. I dont need you to worry about me
You've given up the right to worry about me, everyone else can worry about me except you
This is the price you've to pay for getting so close to me...
I'll get used to not having you around to support me
Adios Amigos...
Embaressing deeds... Indeed!
We all know there's such a thing as retribution lor, but i didnt know it would come in such an embaressing manner! (*^_^*)
What happened?
Not eactly sure how, actually we went out for dinner and along the way there's a number of peddlers selling nice n cheap roses, i was resisting the temptatin to buy a few for her.
Yes, I've given her roses a number of times on this trip ;pWhile we were walking back from dinner, she was up front with my boss.
I dont really like him la but he's the boss ;p keke He pays me ok! haha
Walking pass my favorite flower vendor...
I held her back n tell her "Oh shit he's gona recgonize me!"
And wanted to use her as shield kind of thing ^^;
Who knows while walking pass he came up and gave me flowers for free, due to me patronizing him for few times~!
Dang right in front of my boss~!~!~!~!
I realy wanted to dig a hole n hide ok!
Think my cheeks were flushing in the cold winter winds ;pLiao liao la... Now he's got some firm idea of what's going on liao lor x_x
Along the way he was harping on her on the origins of the roses...
I kept quiet all the way ^_^;
He didnt ask much after that, think he gets the idea liao lor.
He gave subtle hints while having dinner with us during the past few days
I guessed he sort of wans me to leave with him on the 18th, to stop all the nonsense I've been up to lately.
Especially on this trip, lots of follies I've done
The beautiful flowers which was given to me for free, think the flower peddler ort of knows who the flowers are for lor ;p
This is the first bunch I got from him, very nice n lovely hue of pink. I love pink roses, but i prefer them in a lighter shade... Which i never could get for her =(
This is the 2nd rose i got from him, this is just one of the bunch of sixteen, i love this hue. This bouquet is meant only for the smell, very fragrant! REALLY dudes! I've never smelled any scent as sweet n fragrant as this bouquet.
The last single stalk I got, this one I got from the department store. Just to try flowers from other places...
But I've yet to find the most beautiful flower which could be compared to her...
Guess I would never be able to find any flower which could be as beautiful as she is, ever.
Yes, I realy do love her, much more than I would ever love any other woman to date
I know its an unrequainted and futile love, her heart belongs to someone else
All rights reserved, no flower or animal was harmed in the production of this advertisement. The cute model's attached liao so too bad porks ;p
In the face of the Winter winds
Wah! Its really getting really cold le
First time u guys hear me say cold rite? hehe
No joke la now day temp abt lesser than 10 degrees, night temp hovers ard 3-5 degrees, no winds la
Seems quite nice lor ;-) Wicked ok! keke Wearing the same grey wind breaker n jeans ;p
i'm gona upgrade to the reporter jacket soon hehe
Ya the black one which i've never gota used yet
What's more interesting is when would i go back to SG?
Should i stay till 23rd n go sigh-seeing by myself?
Nah no worries i wont join her w her bf nor would our paths cross lor
We may go visit the same places, but i wont go at the same time as them.
Dont wana waste this oppurtunity to visit espercially with tips n stuff alike from u nice dudes out there! keke
Really sick n tired of the work.
After i get back I would clear all my leave n off one shot, I'll most prob have a talk with my boss first
Yeap... time to make the decision, to stay or to leave.
The decision wont be because of her, she doesnt play a part in my decision making.
Can say i was foolish, I'm not really needed here at all. Things changed, but i doubt anyone would have noticed it if i wasn't here in beijing.
My mates need me more back in SG.
If i was to stay, would things change?
Yeap, it surely would... what changes? We shall see...
If i was to leave, where do i go?
Not really important, need a break, getting really tired. WAs thinking of waiting till April when the dog's contract ends ;-)
That would then be really wicked! hahaha
We all need a direction, I need to find mine soon. The co's a gd place, but seems like ppl whom love it tend to be of a certain stero-type...
Not my kind, they dont give me the blood smelling feeling I need to get going. So think of like a Ferrari in a school zone la ;p
Just too bad i wont be able to find a co which keeps me in the bleeding edge.
All serves a purpose, to keep their ops running...
Anyway, who wana join me from 18th onwards? hehe
U just need to buy air tix ;p the accompdation is FREE! kekeke
Party Time!
Woot first time go to Beijing's nitespot sial hehe sorry no pix =( All on CL's camera la
It is off San Li Tun Rd, a whole street filled with bars n pubs!
Cool eh? We actually wana go there n grab a bite for dinner at abt 10pm? hehe
I wasnt tt keen to go la, but just tag along to see the place lor
This place literally makes Boat Quay, Clark Quay & Mohd Sultan added together to shame!
Really whole street very long filled to the brim with pubs man!
It is really nice, but alot of touts would pull u in, old folks using pity to make u give them $ and alot of push carts selling cigs ;-)
I'm also pretty sure the ladies standby the streets are up for business ;-)
Nah but i'm lucky, sticking close to CL ;p keke use her as shield la hehe
It really serves it's purpose having a lady besides u ok hehe
Something i observed, there's no actual pub where ppl just queue to get in or wat, every pub is 1/2 filled only.
So could i say this isnt the real sweet spot?
We just choosed a pub n jumped in, think its called Red Moon.
Had some food n drinks, think its a standard practice across the pubs, to get a table u need to spend RMB$500 -_-"
This pub is nice, it was quite pack when we got there.
The music is quite nice too, most impt is the bass isnt tt loud to ring in my ear @_@
Think Dome back in BNE, the bass is
shi@tz x_x Killer ok! hehe
But things got a bit rowdy at first this drunk guy just threw lighted ciggy across, then he threw wine glasses @_@
At the end he threw liquor glasses on the table, smashed one n threw another again ~_~
Before the bouncer came n asked him to leave... diaoz
Here the customer is king, uncooth n often very unpleasant... REALLY hehe
Anyway after all the fun activities of arm wrestling n live stage singing, it turned into disco time...
This is when the crowds turn thin... and CL went dancing w KC
They wanted me to join them, but i refused politely.
Duno how to dance n drink, ask me join them lau kui le! hehe
Havoc sial KC old uncle still can dance like nothing ok ;p
But best is CL la dance all the way non-stop, it seems she's enjoying herself lor, but i see like she's keep rolling up her sleeve
holding up her hair n keeping her scarf in place... very busy leh! hehe
She says she's having fun, but i dont see her smile on her face
So i duno lor, just sit n observe...
I guess this aint the right place to dance la n I aint the right pax to join them pubbing lor hehe
She was the first to jump onto the dance floor n she's the last to leave...
Not alotof ppl dancing lor, sometimes she had to dance alone lor
Diaoz... not exact wat i would call as fun la ;p hehe
But its a gd break from the constant work, eat, sleep routine la hehe
Time to sleep... nitez
Way of the dragon, First to go mobile ;p
Something abt katongites for once lor =) hehe
Didn't have time to blog ;p but received a very nice email from Xiang...
"P.S: Hey Mons, ha ha if u were in Sg yesterday, u
would have shared the honor with Bat to be the
first... but i wont tell you first in what til ur
back... hee hee...."
=O
First wat ?!?! Diaoz... another open-ended email... don't wana think so much liao la ;p here no way of RNR le -_-"
But I still think abt... hmmm first?
Don't tell me they got baby liao hor? Then Bat became the first to know?
Ermmm... can't be le, little SK/SH coming our way by mid next year le -_-"
Next!
Hmmm... They got Man-Man a mate liao? ;-) hehe
Nah cant be la, I remember they aren't that keen on allowing her to "copulate" le ;p
Diaoz... Then what could it be that allowed Bat to be the first leh?
OH! Then I reply to his email,
"OIC! got it liao ah? how is the FC? keke ;-)"
FC meaning Fuel Consumption ;-) hiak hiak
Turned out his Suzuki Swift is in town n Bat got the first maiden ride! -_-"
Eh AB when is ur Altios coming ah? Kekeke
K la back to main topic lor, the eldest n youngest have settled down liao lor hehe
How about the rest? All the dragons leh? MIA liao ah? Let's see...
Flat Dragon? Hmmm home enjoying life
Way Dragon? Busy w work n chicks ;-)
Fat Dragon? Lost in space busy chasing after Bunny tails ;p
Black Dragon? Missing down-under looking for the scriptures, to gain enlightenment to the path of becoming white! keke
Fag Dragon? Looking for young boys down under ;-) Nasty, look for the trail of child molesters in the papers to find him ;p
Lost Dragon? Found his young boy n living happily every after, so MIA liao ;p Would he someday find out his young boy is a man? keke
Fat Snake? Also missing till Lu-cently appeared on emails hehe
Violent Dragon? Im-paul-sibly, but he's the one to get his night-shift-nurse ok! Keke
Where are we in our lives? What do we wana achieve? Where do u wana go today?
At least we're glad 3 of us have found their own lives to move on to the next level ;-)
While the rest of us is still somewhere out there... being wasted away ;p kekeke
Something's changed... ?!?!
Duno wat happened le... All of a sudden I no longer feel this heavy thing on my heart no more
Have i awoke from my dream? Duno hehe Funny thing, just suddenly it felt like it just doesnt matter no more =)
Instead of this heart wrenching feelig I've gotten since before coming to Beijing
Actually this feeling has been pestering me long before this stupid project started lor
Now i just feel very tired... n sick from this stupid flu i caught!
Dang and just yester i hope i got the H5N1 le ;p Muahahaha
Now le? Duno le...
All of a sudden the feeling gone liao lor, no longer got the heavy gut wrenching feeling liao lor
Took me really too long to wake up lor! Gomenasai! keke
Really sorry for those whom have cared for me so much n I've repeatedly let them down lor...
Have i learnt anything from this experience? Yeah! A hell lot of!
Most impt is my heart is as blind as the bat lor ;p keke nah the bat's lagi chum la ;-) hehe
Action speaks louder than words la, say so much also no use. Prove to all to see.
Now I'm really motivated to work n finish up the job ;-) Everything else, after the job then say lor hehe
I know I've got a great bunch of frenz whom supported me via MSN, skype n calls la =)
Sweeeeeeet~!~! Duuuuuuudes~!~!
"First sign of Depression is self-denial...No,I'm not depressed!...........Really................REALLY"
Hahaha Think this is the quote which may have sparked me off lor ;-)
Why keep holding onto something which we know wont happen?
Of coz lots of us wish for things to happen, but it just wont happen lor, like strike TOTO etc
Let's just say, I've learnt a lesson...took me a while, but impt is the experience which I got.
My life isnt about her, no more.
Have to be optimistic ;-) too bad things could have taken a better turn lor, now le? wicked ;-)
Regret? Ya only thing i would really regret is placing her as priority over everything else ^^;
Oh well...chances would come my way again lor, be it work or watever =)
@Dog, Situation settled, out of my way liao kekeke
@katongites, wait for me to come back for munchkins hor! hehe
@uni-mates, org something again when i get back?
@4th floor snake eaters, DONT EAT TOO MUCH SNAKE LIAO LA! MUAHAHAHA ;p
@all others, cheers =) out of my "depression"? hehehe ;p
Hows life back home?
Yo dudes,
All still alive? hehe am fine at beijing la eat alot of peking duck ;-) cheap cheap somemore le keke
weather's cold here literally as cold as back in brisbane lor n its not even winer yet -_-"
They said it may snow here during december, but in the mean time its just pure cold winds...
As they say, beijing is really polluted ok! Most of the time the place has this white shroud surrounding it
Dont really smell anything from it, unlike in KL where u know its smog la ;p
Food here is cheap lor dirt cheap? literally free if u dare go eat from the joints where the locals go
but the hygiene n origin of the food they sell is really dubious x_x
What's interesting is they've got this dish, where they literally serve the food in a metal basin!
Really huge! U just order wat u wan n they stir fry it into this huge mess w lots of spices n like a gallon of oil! haha
but this would give even bum's curry fire-meat balls a run for the dough!
Shopping here? Alot of gd stuff, but aint cheap. Literally crazy prices man, like winter wear which costs like nearly SGD$1k!
Quality's very gd la, but who would pay tt much! hehe Of coz the normal locals cant afford it, except for the exceptionally rich.
Talk abt luxury items man *blink* n this isnt even branded stuff dudes! btw i saw this at some ulu shopping centre like PP or KTG
Havent really shopped at their orchard rd, Wang Fu Jin or Xi Dan yet.
Life here is very hectic too, very hectic. Work, eat, sleep. Nothing else.
Really! Dont really have the time to go around the place, except during lunch breaks to walk off the excess fats la hehe
Think of the portions of food we consume man... I had to skip 1 meal per day, else i did be gaining weight like crazy!
What else? Hmmm ya, visited the great wall lor, not really so great la ;p siong to climb up la, think of it this way most of it is like nearly 40 degrees slope up n the stairs are really steep too.
Havent have the chance to visit much of the cultural stuff, those u need the guides to know the significance of it.
Like the 13 tombs of Ming dynasty, nothing much to see other than the burial chamber n som stuff they found.
But u had to have a guide to understand the design, feng shui n culture... cheem la ;p
Girls? Quite a number lor, but nothing much interesting which catches my eyes. They're quite fashionable n dress quite nicely. Maybe its due to the weather all wear nearly the same la ;p hehe so cant really tell wat's their taste like la. I did say its not as bad as those china gers we see in SG ;-)
What i really hate is everytime u use a RMB$100 note, which is the norm u get from the exchange. They would check it to make sure its real.
Well its only SGD$20 for god sake! But to alot of them its like least a week's salary! So lppl lor ;p
Language is a barrier man! Seriously! They're slangs, terms n speed is so much more faster than back home. Think chinese in turbo + lots of slurs n everything in chinese, ome words are literal translation from english n some are functional.
When would i be back? Not sure yet le =( but i wana get home before 18th lor...
K la enuff said, ciaoz liao...
--
Siam liao la!
sixx, kook, mon, 小六, 老六, 小黑... wat else? ..
If you want things to stay as they are, things will have to change
One of the few times i had to edit my posting, just trying to clarify somethings.
As i did say quite a fair bit of u peeps may have mis-interprete my blog ;p
Sounds cheem leh, clarify wat? What is there to clarify?
I dont like ppl to mis-interprete any of my frenz lor, what i'm writing here is what i'm feeling. Not like trying to make anyone see her as a bad or nasty ger. Anyone of u whom read my blog dont go bash ppl just coz u think anyone i mention here is mean or nasty. These are all my views, no one else's n wuld suggest u get to know the pax better ur self lor =)
Neither am i trying to compare her to my ex or whichever ger in or not in my life, be it coincidental or not =)
Hey there's so many ppl out there in there world, there's bound to be one or two to be also like her as in character la @_@
Some of the time my thoughts are jiberish and chaotic and i just write what i feel, so it may not seem very coherent to the actual situation at hand.
For example, in my previous blog
"I would say this tender we'll flop, a big mistake but very gd experience for me.
Why gd experience? It allowed me to see how cold she could get, not that it matters, my ex also could get very cold ~_~ and guess everyone knows how it felt hehe"
What i was really trying to imply is, how cold she could get towards the old lady
K she had to save my ass back then and i really appreciate it, it's just i was abit shocked at how cold her attitude was to the old lady. U all know how soft i really am, provided the correct person n situation.
I would literally agree to anything la ;p not so good hehe ~_~
Yes, i've got a hard time saying no to ppl lor...
The best rejection I do is to make her pissed by not joining them for lunch ;-) n dinner...
Think i'm gona get sick soon hehe the cold is getting to my bones...
Every morn i feel my nose is all dried up n there's blood in it too x_x
The wind is chilling to my nose, anytime of the day.
But i've gota be cold...even if my heart is burning warm n bleeding dry...
Ok, i've caught a cold, just hope it's not H5N1 lah ;-) keke
joking ok! hehe I'm too young to die ;p keke
In the dog's words, I still got alot of women to *BEEP*! kekeke
Think i only got caught a mild cold, so no worries at all
Just tt in the morn my nose is surely gona be stuck w all the gooey stuff x_x
How's the game plan now? Not so sure, except I guess wat i'm playing now is to build it up n destroy it, repeat till the end?
Then there wont be no who owe who kind of crap.
Oh diaoz...So tired now...eyes glueing shut soon
Dilemma?
The moment i got off the cab, there was this old lady standing right there smiling at me.
At first I was thinking she wanted to take the cab and i gladly held the door open for her and moved away, but things turned out unexpected.
She started asking me for money and started holding onto my wind breaker. I told her i didnt have any, the only note I had
was RMB100, but she was persistant. Kept holding while we waited at the traffic lights to cross the streets. We kept ignoring
her all the way, but the old lady seems determined to get some cash out of me ~_~
The lights turned green and we crossed over, she kept holding and begging while we were unrelented. Till once we got over,
she turned over and with a smile equally deadly as her being sweet, she told her to let go of my jacket.
The old lady was shocked and gave way, walking back she cursed me to die of hunger.
I was cursed anyway, my unrequianted love.
But now i'm on my road to recovery lor =)
Yeah 1 more day before boss comes back and i hope i could dive back to finish my work...Finish it.
Gota make prep to visit SK or andy, to heal my broken heart? keke ;-)
I know SK's busy w work n taking care of his wifie n might not have the time at all for me
Her bf would be here around 18th, so i would have to make myself scarce in 12 days time
Sis n everyone else is asking me to go back soon, i was thinking of roaming abit more before i go back.
I would say this tender we'll flop, a big mistake but very gd experience for me.
Why gd experience? It allowed me to see how cold she could get in theway she treats the old lady, not that it matters, my ex also could get very cold ~_~ and guess everyone knows how it felt hehe
Not really that hard to deal w a cold ger la, quite fun also if u put ur heart to it ;p but i'm not a smooth talker and would only irk ppl due to the wrong choice or words, so even with the correct attitude it would be incurr her deadly words x_x
Hmmm... It maybe a gd idea to start irking her ;-) keke
I know alot of u would wan me to do tt rite? nasty le u all ;p
I'll be ready when I'm ready to move on lor...
A nice quote i saw the other day...
"In order to prevent changes in your life, you would need to make changes yourself"
Or something like tt la ;p kekeke So i would guess I need some changes for myself then
Just duno how to "change" properly. Sometimes I get abit unstable, I would say so myself.
she wana see wat i wrote for this blog... i didnt wan her to see n affect my mood to write.
Now listening to "Hurricane"...
It is a relapse... Saw she had an email from her bf. "Good morning Darling :)" I only saw the title...
It made me feel bad lor, jealous? Really duno but it certainly felt worser than the chill i'm feeling now
And then her mobile's SMS tone rang, mot prob her bf SMS her lor
"Amazing"
Its no big secret la, duno how to continue writing this blog lor.
Getting over the edge myself now, imersing myself in MP3.
Lying to her infront of me now, pretending to smile when it hurts...
Totally ignoring her on "Knocking on Heaven's door"
She asked on where to go tonight, but i didnt really wana talk... especially to her now
Gota ask for backup x_x Stupid dog, where are u when i needed u?
Nasty, she's mad coz she thought i meant she was very cold to me...at last she's left me alone...
Anyway she'll be reading this post sometime later tonight
Somehow her leaving in pettiness, took away all the ill desired feelings from my heart.
Not sure if its good or bad, I just sit here continue writing about... nothing
"Everything I do"
It's really stupid lor, just an email only can turn my mood upside-down.
There's a chance I'm gona stay in bed tonight
Think some of the ill vibes has went over to her... =(
I dont wan her to feel sad, this is my feeling not hers.
She's looking for some inspiration to reply to her email n i wasnt able to provide it to her.
"Unbreak my heart"
Duno if she's jestering when she said tt, but i really dont wish for her to know what i'm feeling.
Gota recover if i wana to enjoy this last night of freedom...
Ok she's ok liao, no need worry abt her. Feeling tired, head hurts, heartaches.
Phew... Lucky she's ok liao... I'm physically tired, so very tired.
"K lor 不要出咯,反正外面很冷吗!" She's being sarcastic...
Shopping time?
Saturday... First day of solitude with her, not that bad la.
Last night KO'ed too late, was watching Marlene, some Italian Flick about a teenage boy who fantasizes about this hot chick whom is married to this army guy.
The setting is during world war, not sure if its the first or second one ;p
The whole show is in Italian n has traditional chinese sub.
The storyline is quite nice in the sense the kid is quite obsessed with this married lady.
Actually the whole town raises eyes when she walks pass ;-)
It's a sad n romantic show, sad as it portrays how Marlene had to resort to prostitution in order to survive, after her hubby was killed in the war n her dad officially denouncing her.
She was left helpless n vulnerable...to the wolves in the town, whom literally took advantage of her, eg food for sex -_-"
Ya this is an adult oriented show, alot of scene u can see the boy fantasizing about Marlene...Nekkid la! duh...
She's hOOt ok! But no my kind of babe ;p Dog would love her! Same for Lau Eng ;-) kekeke Yeap Meat lover baby! Think maybe Echo cup? hehe
U guys know la me like lean n mean type ;p
Dont wana leak too much info lor, quite interesting as the director came up with alot of hilarious scenes to depict the fantasies, often being hero saving the damsels in distress kind of sutff! hehe
So if anyone of u wana watch this show, just get back to me n i'll see if i could get an avi version out for dl'ing ;-)
After our brunch, went out window shopping for her trench coat, the one she wanted was no longer avail ;p too bad lor
But she's still very keen on the adidas one, instead she found an espirit model looking much nicer.
She's looking for this long trench which would keep her warm when going up the great wall.
As we all know la shopping with women hor x_x
One sentence describes the process best, Kill me please.
Of coz i did some shopping of my own, bought some pirated CDs la ;p Sting n Robbie Williams.
came back after which to do some housework, while she worked on the tender stuff.
Was supposed to go Wang Fu Jin at about 6 in the evening to shop for her tranch coat, end up went only at 7.
I chup siaoz her n went to take a nap at 6... nap ah nap till 7 then go out -_-"
I was like stoning while the little birdie was chirping x_x" Wana tell her to diam la, but didnt lor ;p keke
Went to this posh looking new shopping center, nothing much different from Time Square or our Taka la
I was thinking of more of exploring, running around, seeing new things rather than stuck in a building lor
So this time round i take it to explore this building lor =)
Alot of nice stuff la, clothes n such, but nothing really fancies me. Catches her eye, but not really for me.
Sorry not tt the clothes dont look nice, but most impt i would say is the person wearing it.
Clothes only enhances the person's image, doesnt mean wats the most trendy would suit everyone.
Like i feel sis wear the stripe blouse looks great, Jo wear boyish sweaters looks nice etc.
She's looking for a long trench coat, but most of the trench coat have this squarish pattern which is dull to me n i dont see anything tt nice...
In the end, went to espirit saw this cute white down jacket, which she fancied.
Then ask me
CL : "this one nice... or the brown(the one we saw this morn) one nicer?"
-__-" Siao liao lor very complex qns le... how to ans? Myself i prefer this jacket, but she wear not for me, so my opinion doesnt really matter lor
ME : "Up to u lor... both also nice =)"
Crossed x_x
CL : "Ask u choose which one nicer la! No ask u for wat?"
Ok ok mam... I understand... dont so angry la!
ME : "this one =)"
Phew... I tot nightmare over liao coz she happily bought it...
Till we went next door espirit for guys?!?!
Heng man, why nightmare? Coz there got woman eh jacket too! *ABISH* molo write complain letter to espirit liao
She saw a very nice black down jacket. x_x;
Siao liao lor. Gona kena the qns again liao, can siam anot? diaoz.
Why isnt Janis or HH here?
So of coz she asked me again la the white one she bought looks nicer or this black one?
-_______________-"
I wana say both looks nice eh, get both lor ;p but this black one the collar looks too big, but i like the feel of the material, very smooth like satin?
The design same as the white one she bought as in it doesnt have the normal squarish threading pattern.
Lady luck was with me... coz there isnt a white one! MUAHAHAHAHAHA~!~! Else i would surely pick this model instead ;p
The only two things there which fancied me was KFC n gelatio from some shop named romana, one was dinner, the other desert =)
The KFC is nice, they had this chicken-pah, which is much better than the ones in the Taiwan Xiao Chi chains back home.
The gelatio is fatastic! Delish, the choco reminded me of the italian hot choco from BNE.
Anythig different? Feelings aside, trying to keep everything normal.
Sometimes i feel the silence is a burden, her working n me zhor bo. No net somemore =(
We dont have much to talk abt lor. Easy for her n me =)
I'm now thinking of getting a Lenovo handset ;-) Looks nice hehe white brick type, saw it while having KFC just now ;p
btw their KFC quite exp, if u think of earn here, spend here la.
So far i've already spent 1/4 of what i've brought over x_x not very gd
2 more weeks? or 2 more days? keke boss come back on Monday surely gona scream at me eh ;p no do work! hahaha
Cant get away... from her
How i wish to return home... I know she's trying to make things better, to make it be normal.
Would it really help much?
Smiling at me sheepishly, soft voice which seems to be caressing my mind...
She's the angel i opened my eyes to this morning...wearing her fav maroon colored top, asking me to go for breaky...
This is the way she is, her happy and little girl like attitude.
I'm seeking for an answer which she cant help out with, no one can help me out at all.
Solitude is the best way out for me... to be alone...I should really revert back to before, closing everything
I need to seek out my 3 angels to confide in...where are thou when u needed them?
Yeah, I foresake them when i choosed this path, i didnt wana heed their advice...
All of them voted anonymously against my decision, but i had wanted to try.
So it would take a while...
My emotions are stablizing, but its still abit tender, easily shaken...easily hurt
Alot of u may think she's bad n nasty, but i really feel she's a nice ger lor just like alot of u peeps out there =)
I trust all of my frenz are nice n gd (except AB, dog n sis la ;p nasty kekeke)
It's getting confusing...
I didnt wana post this, she's reading my blog now, reading it and smiling sweetly...
i duno wats going thru her mind... only she herself knows
She asked if i had went over last night to cover her with her blanket
I denied flatly.
Walking in the cold
Letting go is really hard lor, but i would have to do so someday la.
Today is a really horrible day, having to go through all that not once, but twice.
Made her angry n appease her n than made her angry again... This time round I'm not making any effort to appease her liao
Gona let her be lor, she doesnt need my attention, care or concern, I dont wan her to care or be concern about me
Her life is hers, I'm not gona be part of it no more. Gona treat her as a colleague...
I dont even wana be her close fren. I'll let her secret die together with my memories of her
When dinner came, I didnt wana go. She pestered me in this sweet little girl voice, but i did not sway.
Alas my other clleague who's leaving molo had to pull me along sort of his last meal in Beijing
I had to give him face...
I brought them to a steamboat joint, all the while avoiding her, trying to keep away from her.
I guess she knows, coz all the while when going out i would stick w her, just to keep her company.
Not anymore...
It was a torturous affair, my colleague who's leaving knows what's going on
After dinner on the way back, my two colleagues went ahead walking in front while she stayed behind
Oh man...why cant she just go ahead n leave me alone?
I purposely walked slow, very slow. I'm tired of walking fast for the day.
She walked just abit faster than me. I kept going slower...
She kept waiting for me in front...when i reach her, she walked besides me like waiting for me to talk with her.
I asked her why she dont wana walk w the rest, she said she cant see them ahead.
I just maintain my silence n let her walk abit faster than me, lapsing me...
This continued till a particular spot, i told her go ahead the rest is just infront, i wana walk slowly...
This happened throughout the journey back, i wana abandon her, but i couldnt bear it...
throughout after, I refused to talk or acknowledge her and maintain silence... gazing on nothing in particular...
Walking to her n letting her lapse me when she started walking again...
This happened till a particular spot where it got dark n i lost sight of her around a hump
i quickly walked faster n saw her on the other side before i resume walking slowly again...
She told me the bushes were too dark n scary and waited for me there...
I ignored her n just walked on, this time round she did something unexpected n perculiar.
She trotted just beside me, keeping close... looking at me, hoping i would notice her prescence?
Its like a girl whom knows she did wrong n have this guilty thing wanting u to forgive her...
I continued ignoring her, through-out.
Even when we reached the room, i just dump her there n took me ear piece to go out to walk somemore
Winter is starting soon...It would get colder, so take care n keep ur self warm...
When my boss comes back next monday I would be able to totally ignore her liao.
My life, my path, my way.
In a mess...
I duno what she wans, I'm lost wih my stars...directionless and dont know what to do next
I forced a hard question down to her, she resisted and was avoiding the question
Is it really that hard to answer me?
"Where do i stand now?"
"simple qns to u leh nt to me le"
She's avoiding...
I pressed on more...
"can u tell me?"
"u nt standing leh ... u sitting"
-__-" Still running away from the ans i wan...
She didnt wana ans me when i asked her the question, she didnt need to ans that one, i understand
This time round she didnt give me an answer but instead choosed to cuddle up with the pillow
Motionless, hiding like a little ger... like a kid afraid of the sounds of thunder during the storm
Anyway she let me know i'm a close fren to her n there's "weak signal" for me
What does it mean? I duno...dont wan go think abt it
Why must she care so much about what i'm going to do?
Sorry i'm not used to so much care n concern, please dont give me any and give it all to the rest
There's so many more ppl in this world whom needs and want ur care n concern, but not me
My choice, my mistake, my life.
I dont wana hurt her or anyone else for all that matters.
There's no right or wrong in what i'm doing, just differing views
